This weekend I tackled my toughest task to date – an orgasm an hour, every hour, for 10 hours straight. The rules were quite simple: the orgasm had to take place between XX.01 and XX.59 each hour, starting at 10am. I had to record the time, method & any other thoughts & feelings, as I went along. I won’t be delving into the salacious details here, that’s not what this post is about. But rather I’ll delve into my feelings about it all, and let’s face it they will lay me bare way more than the simple mechanics of the task could ever do.
I had such mixed feelings about this task before hand. In my usual fashion these swung between ‘ok this shouldn’t be too tough’ type optimism, and ‘oh crap what have I got myself into & what if I let him down’ type pessimism. However, given that optimism generally wins out with me, especially when faced with a challenge I was determined to succeed. Failing my Dom simply wasn’t an option I was prepared to consider.
Number 1 was pretty easy, I felt almost blase about it… ok I was off to a good start. Nice & early in the hour too, at just 10.07. My Dom was with me for number 2, and his presence helped me, yet I felt the first hint of pressure setting in… this was only number 2 – 8 more to go! Numbers 3 through 5 were ok too, I was getting a little tired, but made it without too much difficulty. The pressure really started to get to me around number 6, which I barely made in time… think teeth gritted & telling myself “you’re doing it for him, you have to do this”
My Dom was out by this point, so I was alone, and really feeling the weight of responsibility. No Dom there to direct me, to push me, to encourage me, I had to do this for him, and do it alone. I made it through 7, feeling pretty worn out at this point & went for a bath to try relax, thinking it would make it easier. Unfortunately my idea of a bath is a couple of hours in deep, hot water with my book… no time for that – number 8 beckoned!
I shared my progress with my Dom while he was out via email, and his praise & encouragement helped me, but I was still struggling. So much so that when I finally made it through number 9 I laid & sobbed afterwards. I’d barely made it in time (6.56pm), and it had gone from pleasure to painful by now.
I think at this point I was just so overwhelmed by the whole experience. I was stressed out at the thought of missing any of the deadlines & failing him. Of course being tense & stressed out didn’t help, and it became a vicious cycle. Striving to get there, worried I wouldn’t, and the words on a permanent loop in my brain – you have to do this for him, you can’t let him down now, he’ll be so disappointed in you!
He was due home very soon after number 9, emailed to say he was on his way & all I could feel was exhausted relief. I was wobbly, needy & tearful by then & just needed to be held tight, which of course is what he did as soon as he arrived. I couldn’t stop crying as he gently questioned me about how I felt, told me he was proud of me, and that he knew I could do it.
Talking to him helped me calm down, as it always does, he gave me reassurance & comfort, and I found the strength to finish. Reading that I’m conscious it sounds a bit melodramatic .. even to me, but all I can say is that I really don’t think I could have carried on without him there. I like to think I’d have found the strength to do it, to complete the task he’d given me, not let him down, but I just don’t know what I’d have done. I shared number 10 with him, which was amazing. It was still physically hard, but mentally much easier for me, knowing he was there with me. So at 7.57pm I completed the 10 Hour Task.
Finally getting there brought more tears, I was a complete mess, I just couldn’t stop crying. There were so many emotions in my head, all rolling around and completely overwhelming me. I felt exhausted, a sense of relief, pride at pleasing him, incredibly vulnerable, cared for, very sore, glowing with happiness as I saw his pleasure in me, and as limp as over-cooked spaghetti!
We lay together in the aftermath, me crying, him holding me and talked about the day. He asked if I was mad at him, which took me by surprise a little at the time. My reply didn’t need much thought though, I wasn’t mad or upset at all. I guess with every day that passes I accept more & more his right to ask things of me, and after all I agreed to complete the task… but it’s about more than his right to ask & my obedience. It’s become about what I am prepared to do to please him. To feel his pride & pleasure in me, to be the best I can be for him, to feel that peace inside myself that comes from knowing I made him happy, that he can be proud to call me his submissive, and I’m worthy of that place.
It’s almost 48 hours now since I finished, and I still feel a little awed by it all – not to mention a little sore still too.. He’s already asked me if I will do this again for him, and aim for 12 instead of 10. And you know what, when the time comes, and he asks me to do it all again, I will say yes. Not without some trepidation, but with pleasure too. For as hard as it was, the results were so worth it, because it brought us even closer together than we already were.
For you Sir xxx