7) Do you accept and/or expect discipline or punishments as a part of your submission? How do you feel about it?
Yes absolutely, and it’s an important element of our relationship.
I’ve talked before about how the thought of being punished used to frighten me as a new submissive. I suppose because as an adult I am years beyond a time in my life where I could be punished, or even admonished, by anyone. Punishment wasn’t something I’d had to consider for a long time. Until now that is of course. Accepting Sir’s authority over me, when I submitted to him, also meant accepting his right to discipline & punish me as he sees fit.
For us punishment is about learning. Correcting behaviour as opposed to a punitive measure, though naturally he chooses something I will dislike when I am punished. The absolute worst thing for me is not being able to be close to him, so that’s what he does. I have my movements restricted, and am kept away from my favourite spot at his feet. I hate it so much.
I talked in THIS post about provoking him, to see if he would punish me when I was going through a bit of an insecure phase. It was probably the first time I had really disappointed him, and forced him to punish me. We’d talked a week or two previously when working on my rules about my thanking him when I was punished. We talked about the idea & I understood it, on an intellectual level. But it wasn’t until I received my first major punishment that I got it on a gut level. I was grateful to him. When I said “thank you Sir” I meant it with every fibre of my being.
I’ve learned over the last few months that discipline & punishment aren’t just something I accept & endure as part of my submission. The discipline and structure my Dom provides are essential to my sense of safety & security. His punishments are to help me learn, to be better as a woman & as his sub. I need to know that he is in absolute control & won’t hesitate to handle problems when they arise. I crave that sense of belonging to him that I really feel when he takes me in hand.
I can’t imagine our relationship without these elements in it.