Sir asked me yesterday what I thought were the 3 biggest lessons I have learned since becoming his submissive. Not the things I have enjoyed most, not my ‘top 3’ things, but things I didn’t know or fully understand before becoming his.
- That focus, true, absolute focus, on my Dom is harder than I thought it would be. No matter how much I want to please him, to make my focus his pleasure, it is a tough mindset to get into completely. The ‘I’ factor creeps in more often than it should. I know it surprised Sir how tough I find this, as I’ve known I was a submissive for quite a few years now. The difference now is I have a Dom who makes me his focus, and demands the absolute best from me. The best will be when I live & breathe pleasing him. I’m not there yet, but I will be.
- To think about the language I use when I speak to him. Let’s face it, I’m gobby, and I have a much too smart mouth on me at times. I speak out without thinking way too often, never meaning any disrespect but I manage to display it regardless. I think I’ve managed to curb this quite a lot, though I still have a long way to go.
- That I may enjoy pain more than I ever, ever thought possible. It has gone from something that terrified me, to something I was intrigued by, to something I have begun to enjoy. I never expected this to be the case for me. This is probably the biggest change I have undergone since becoming Sir’s. Not the most important, but certainly the most radical.