Another A-Z entry for you. I considered a few different entries for the letter E, and settled on Emotion as being the most important to me. Sir asked me to include my thoughts on Edgeplay too.
Above all else submission is an emotional experience for me. The physical and intellectual submission are important, but the heart of it for me is the emotional element. Probably because I’m an emotionally driven person. As a submissive the emotional impact of a D/s relationship is huge. It can also be pretty scary at times. It’s the most intensely vulnerable experience I have ever had.
From my first experiences with D/s it has been at turns mind blowing, terrifying, exhilarating, painful and thrilling. There have been moments of heart-stopping beauty and gut-wrenching pain. Things that have made me look very hard at myself & my needs, wants & motivation for pursuing this dream. I think submission brings many moments of introspection, and that’s not always easy, but I wouldn’t change what I have now for the world.
I had to research this area some, as it’s completely outside my experience. The elements encompassed in this subjective term are all about pushing the boundaries of TTWD, and as such are not to be undertaken lightly. Right now I don’t imagine any of the various types of play, such as knife, fire or breath play, will be included in the activities my Dom plans for us.
I’ve tried to imagine how it would feel to be restrained and have my Dom run a knife along my skin perhaps, or squeeze my throat so tightly that I find it hard to breathe. Truly, I can’t picture either right now without a shudder, particularly the latter. Intellectually I can grasp the level of submission required to place that trust in him, and find pleasure in enduring it … because enduring is how I think it would feel.. for him. But for all that I can’t really feel myself in that place, or really imagine what it might be like.
I would love to get to the place where I could give these experiences to Sir if he wants them. Would I prefer it not involve the sharp, pointy things, hot stuff & choking.. oh heck yes! But how wonderful to know if he did choose this path for us I’d be safe in his hands.