…. make me cry these days.
Since my Dom ended things between us earlier this month I’ve shed many tears. Spent endless hours wondering what I did wrong. At times I think perhaps I did nothing wrong, but he simply wasn’t in the right time or place in his life to be with me. Whatever the reason, I wish he’d had the courage to talk to me about it. Even if there was no way to make our relationship work, it would have been nice to have a vote, or even be told directly. That would have been less cruel than the gradual fading away he chose.
But today’s post isn’t about the injustice I feel. It is what it is. I can’t change the outcome, he made the choices for both of us. I’ve actually been doing ok, getting on with my life without him, and not even missing him as desperately as I did. Then I was cleaning the kitchen today & saw the ginger he had me buy back before Christmas. I wrote about it in THIS post. About how Sir had me go buy some ginger, and leave it on view in the kitchen. So that every time I went in there I would see it, and think about it being used… Oh boy did I think! It scared the hell out of me, but there was also a tiny frisson of excitement that would run through me too.
I decided to throw it away today, as it was looking kind of sad. A little shrivelled, with a tiny green sprout growing from one end. It made me cry. Another little piece of ‘us’ slipping away from me. Another tiny symbol of our relationship.
Thrown in the dustbin.