I’ve been putting off starting to share my A-Z, and I figured out why my enthusiasm for it had waned, it’s because I wrote all these for my Dom. I shared (and oh boy did I share!) my innermost thoughts & feelings on every single item. But I was writing it to him, and sharing that here seemed wrong somehow. I’m not entirely comfortable with all the topics I chose, either in practise or in terms of sharing my thoughts on them. So this will be a less personal A-Z than the one I originally wrote.
Ass play, anal sex, all things ‘ass’ seem to be a key component in many D/s relationships, ours included. It’s definitely one of those areas I find hard to be open about. I can just about manage to discuss it with my Dom, but there is still a lot of blushing and hesitating on my part. He told me right at the outset that it would play a major role for us, and it does… and frequently has me squirming both in pleasure & embarrassment.
Although I sometimes find it physically uncomfortable, I find the psychological impact of anal play to be very intense. It’s also great for reminding me of my place as his sub, and his control over my body, even when we’re not together. I will often get an email telling me I’m to wear my plug when I go the supermarket, or while doing the housework.
I think it’s also the area I face my toughest battles with my submission, in so far as accepting his control over me. Not because I don’t want to please & obey him, because of course I do, but just because I find it hard sometimes. I still have enough of the prude inside me to get embarrassed by the whole thing, but giving myself in this way to please my Dom is an experience that makes me feel incredibly submissive, and very much dominated, and that in itself is wonderful.
I love aftercare, it’s the time after things have been really intense to wind down together, for close physical affection, to talk over how things went. To cement our bond.
I love to be held close, petted, told how I have pleased my Dom and perhaps be comforted if the scene has brought a lot of emotion out of me. I think it’s really an essential part of the bonding experience between Dom & sub, whether it’s a brief stroke of the hair, or a longer period of snuggling & talking.