…. make me cry these days.
Since my Dom ended things between us earlier this month I’ve shed many tears. Spent endless hours wondering what I did wrong. At times I think perhaps I did nothing wrong, but he simply wasn’t in the right time or place in his life to be with me. Whatever the reason, I wish he’d had the courage to talk to me about it. Even if there was no way to make our relationship work, it would have been nice to have a vote, or even be told directly. That would have been less cruel than the gradual fading away he chose.
But today’s post isn’t about the injustice I feel. It is what it is. I can’t change the outcome, he made the choices for both of us. I’ve actually been doing ok, getting on with my life without him, and not even missing him as desperately as I did. Then I was cleaning the kitchen today & saw the ginger he had me buy back before Christmas. I wrote about it in THIS post. About how Sir had me go buy some ginger, and leave it on view in the kitchen. So that every time I went in there I would see it, and think about it being used… Oh boy did I think! It scared the hell out of me, but there was also a tiny frisson of excitement that would run through me too.
I decided to throw it away today, as it was looking kind of sad. A little shrivelled, with a tiny green sprout growing from one end. It made me cry. Another little piece of ‘us’ slipping away from me. Another tiny symbol of our relationship.
Thrown in the dustbin.
I’m sending you another hug because it seems you need it… Keep working past him!
This is his loss… Not yours! You will gain strength… I promise!
Hugs… 🐇🐇🐇🐇
I’m terribly sorry to hear this.
I’ve just read (the vast majority) of the posts on your blog and i extremely liked the way you lived with your sub self.
He didn’t act properly for a Dom, and every time i see those so-called “Doms” letting their egos in the way of communication i am ashamed to be called like them.
From me and my sub kitty, you have our deepest symphaty and she sends you all the purrs a human pet can send.
Please, do contact us if you need someone to talk with, we cannot do much from far away but we can always hear you.
Live happy.
SkyborgSin Toren & kitty
i too have know this pain, being sent away with no reasons why. i can tell you the pain and lost feeling gets better. But the wondering never does. 12 years after i was sent away from my M’Lady i have found a Master any kajira would be amazed by. Now im not saying it took me 12 years to move on, just took that long for me to find the right fit. Bless you, and my you find peace sweetie. my Master and i will keep you in O/our thoughts.
I am so sorry that that happened to you the way it did. I know how you feel in a way. I try to steer away from anything that resembles the lifestyle I once cherished. It is just a cruel reminder of what I had to give up. I don’t know what has led me back to reading this stuff and looking for images to use as my profile pic. All I can say is once a submissive always a submissive.
I hope things get better for you hon. And I hope you find the Dom you are looking for. Take it a day at a time. (((HUGS)))
The first thing a Dom owes his sub is openness and honesty. To fade away is to abandon your responsibilities. Keep your head high; I’ve read much of your writing here and I know you will make someone happy someday, and His happiness will be in sync with yours.
came looking for a gift to give, but found some feelings instead. you’re a good girl and don’t deserve to be abandoned. relationships end, but need not end in abandonment. my only advice is to remind that sometimes a dominant male isn’t as strong as he wants to be, or you thought he was. all the best from the other side of the fence