4) Do you switch into a dominant role at any time? If you are in a domestic discipline relationship, are there things that you maintain control over? Are you a “switch” in BDSM terms? If not, have you ever thought about it or given thought to why it’s not for you?
Do I ever switch, or even think about switching? The simple answer is no.
My best friend is sexually submissive (as opposed to submissive in any other way), but has some infrequent ‘switchy’ tendencies. We’ve discussed times when she has played a dominant role in a scene, and I find it terribly difficult to understand. When I think about being in charge in a relationship in general, let alone sexually, I wrinkle my nose up & frown. It just seems terribly alien to me.
It’s not my role, it’s not what gives me any sense of satisfaction or fulfilment. I don’t want to be in charge, to be the one responsible for my partner. I already have that role in my day to day life, in my role as a mother. I’m responsible for my daughter’s care & well being, for taking care of the house, the bills etc & all that comes with that.
When I think about a relationship, and/or a life partner I want to be taken care of. Yes as a submissive my Dom’s happiness is my focus & my responsibility, I certainly don’t want to sit back & let him do all the work. But I also don’t want to be in charge of directing our relationship, of making the decisions for us both. That’s his role, and one he excels at. Mine is to follow his lead