4 comments on “Safewords

  1. I always hated using my safeword, but I did – especially after a lecture from him about NOT using it when I should have…for us, it was during impact play – and I always wanted to take all of what he gave me, even if I couldn’t physically handle it…he would get so mad at me for not using it…I learned to use it and it’s one of the many, many ways he kept my trust…I always knew he would respect it…

  2. It’s a fine line between the responsibility to use a safeword and the responsibility to create an environment in which a safeword is an emergency exit rather than default. I’ve seen people refuse to safeword out of pride (on the bottom), and I’ve seen people refuse to take any responsibility for safety/boundaries/emotional care because they think unless they hear a safeword anything goes (on the top). I saw one woman struck in the face, full-force, and the justification by the top was that “she didn’t say it wasn’t okay.” The person on the top should have gotten to know the person on the bottom well enough to understand that she didn’t say it wasn’t okay *because she never even imagined someone would do that to her*.

    On a lighter note, there is a very funny cartoon circling on Facebook that says something like, “Someone shouting elephant purple snodgrass etc. probably forgot a safeword.” 🙂

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