3) How do you know you are submissive or have the potential to be submissive? How do you feel when you express your submission?
The need to submit has been with me as long as I can remember.
Back when I was too young to understand or articulate it, it was often in the form of a fantasy of having a strong older brother, who would control me & punish me if I misbehaved. Once I became a teen & started to take more interest in boys & explore relationships it took the form of a vague dissatisfaction at the wishy washy nature of many of these boys. As I moved into my twenties there was a contradiction for me. My belief in the equality of the sexes meant I thought I should be an equal in a relationship, but when I was I didn’t like it. It was very confusing.
It wasn’t until I was in my thirties that I discovered there was a whole world of D/s out there that I hadn’t really know anything about. When I say I discovered D/s I guess I knew vaguely that there were ‘kinky’ people out there prior to this, but if I considered it all I would have thought it just too strange, not something that I would every dream of exploring.
Submitting for the first time was a total revelation. How utterly freeing it felt. I was spellbound, and knew at once that I’d found my ‘missing piece’. That this was what I wanted, needed, craved in order to feel complete.
As to how I feel now when I kneel at my Dom’s feet. I feel at home, peaceful, excited, happy, vulnerable, safe, humbled, proud, content, protected, turned on…..
I just feel right, at last.