I think I would count as a sassy sub too. I walk (and sometimes trip over) a fine line between being me, and being disrespectful. It’s an ongoing lesson for me and my Dom. Great post 🙂
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.
I’m feeling kind of proud of sticking at my blog for 2 whole months so thought I would share this.
Happy New Year to you all. May 2013 bring you peace & joy.
Here’s an excerpt:
600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 3,300 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 6 years to get that many views.
The only aphrodisiac I need is your voice
Hearing you speak my name
Beckoning me to answer
Telling me you want me
So I tell you that you’re the answer to every question I’ve ever had about love
Without words I use my tongue to tell the tale of us
Tracing your shadowscape
Kneeling before you my eyes feast upon your masculinity and
All its divinity and I praise you
Because all of that is for me
I begin to indulge myself of your delicacies
Digesting semi-sweet dark chocolate decadence as it melts
Dripping down my chin
Your taste is something that Godiva couldn’t re-create
Needing every atom of your anatomy
Necessity is placed upon me knowing you are the source of my serendipity
Dipping in and out of me stroking more than my consciesness
Subconsciously I find myself rewinding our love scenes
In my daydreams
Seeing that face you make when you’re making me cum
And it makes me want you right there and then
Thinking of you in inappropriate places I get
Tingling sensations in private locations where I wish to be caught between a rock and your hard place
As wetness develops my legs begin to open and my spot turns to a backdraft and all I want you to do is extinguish it
You know my body like the back of your hands
And touch me and send me into ecstacy
My thighs quiver in anticipation of deep penetration which gets me high
Pulling my hair and
Scratching my back
I get a temporary case of tourettes because all I can say are four letter words in a four octave-range screaming your name
Aye papi, eres tan grande y tan duro y mo lo das tan bueno…tu eres mi pecado mortal…cojelo otra vez…
You fucking me makes me bilingual
I see your tongue pink between your lips and I want it between mine
And I struggle
As you lick torturing me
I try to get away but
Running out of room begging for more up against the wall that has been scuffed by my stilletos
You pry apart my thighs and tell me to be still
And I willingly submit to you because I love the way you dominate me
Demanding that I cum for you so I do as I’m told
You’ve molded me so I’m good to no-one else but you
You’ve conquered this once orgasmicless world and multiplied it
My face radiates with after-glow
My pillow scented by you
A fragrance which haunts me
My room smells of the best sex
Covered in body prints and finger prints and you above me
Your name written indelibly upon my body in your genetic history
You fucking me makes me bilingual
Lyrics to Bilingual by Jose Nunez
6) What do you feel are the roots of your submission? Do you think it has something to do with childhood? Is it a relationship management tool as in the practice of domestic discipline? Is it a sexual thrill or something else?
An interesting question, nature or nurture?
I can’t say what the roots of my need to submit are, but I can say they have always been with me. I think I have talked before on my blog about having fantasies even as a very young child of being controlled & dominated. These certainly weren’t sexual in nature in the beginning.
I can’t think of anything in my childhood that might have influenced this need, other than perhaps my father being absent a lot due to his work. If I had to take an educated guess I’d say some people are just more comfortable in a submissive role. It fulfils a need in them to please, to cede control to someone they can respect & look up to, and to be taken care of.
As to what submission is in the context of a relationship, I think for me it’s a number of things. Yes it is a relationship management tool, and a very effective one for me. I have a framework to guide me. I understand clearly what is expected of me. It takes away the guesswork & uncertainty a lot of the time. No need to wonder if he would like me to do something, because he will tell me what he wants from me. I can try anticipate what will please him, and I may get it wrong sometimes, but the fact that I have tried will be pleasing to him in itself. (Even though the word try is currently stricken from my vocabulary… sorry Sir!)
The sexual pleasure I receive from submitting to Sir is enormous. Just being with him and talking, acknowledging his control & dominance over me is a huge turn on for me. Placing my pleasure completely in his hands, knowing that he will control that is incredibly erotic. So yes, the sexual thrill is no small part of what appeals to me, but it’s so much more than that.
Being in a good D/s relationship completes me. Finding Sir – or him finding me perhaps -was like a revelation. Finally here was the compliment to what I needed, and here was someone who wanted what I had to offer. I love the structure of our relationship, it just feels so very right. Being a submissive with the right Dom is my safe place, where I can be what I am meant to be.
Not being able to express my submissive nature would be like wearing a pair of shoes that don’t quite fit. They might be spectacular shoes, gorgeous to look at, make me look great. Everyone might say how good those shoes are on me. But if they don’t fit me properly they will start to hurt. I won’t be able to relax wearing them, and will always be conscious that they aren’t quite right. Soon I’ll start to leave them in the wardrobe more & more until they never get worn. They might be wonderful shoes, but they aren’t right for me.
So while I could never compare my Sir to a pair of shoes… if I did he would be the most amazing pair of Christian Lacroix high heels, but I would feel like I was wearing my favourite Croc flip flops.
“Go and get your pegs girl”
How those words make me shiver & squirm with anticipation. Knowing how my nipples will swell & harden at just the thought of the pegs tightening on them. That initial bite of pain, that makes me suck in my breath, and bite down on my lip.
Then the waiting game begins.
He’ll just carry on the conversation, the fact that my nipples are pegged tight is ignored. Though of course both of us are conscious of the fact. How long will I last before I start to whine at the pain? How long can I take it for him? I kneel there at his feet, shifting my weight from side to side, starting to fidget as the throbbing increases. The delicious burning making me wet for him, until I want to squeeze my thighs together.
I’m sure he loves the game that’s playing out. He knows I’ll eventually give in, the pain will start to cross that ever-moving line. The line he helped me find, and now helps me move. Little by little. Tiny increments. Every time just a few minutes longer. For him. Helping me find pleasure in the pain. For him.
Finally I hit that point. I give in & reluctantly tell him: “They are really hurting now Sir.” He’ll stroke my hair & tell me: “One more minute for me”. I kneel there, biting on my lip, eyes closed as I concentrate on my breathing. Slow, deep breaths. I grit my teeth, determined to do it for him. To give him what he asks, to please him.
At last I hear “time is up, you can remove them now”. I grip them both, trying to release them simultaneously. Holding my breath now because I know the pain is about to be so much worse. As they come off the blood rushes back to my nipples and I gasp… moaning in pain. God that hurts. I want to touch them, to soothe them, but that will hurt even more.
Right at that moment I crave his mouth on them. Surrounding the poor, tortured peaks. Laving them with his wet tongue, soothing the ache as they throb between his lips. My back arches, wanting to bring them closer to him. To run my hands through his hair as he sucks on them hard. Pain and pleasure endlessly entwined in my head. Until nothing exists but his mouth on me, and his pleasure & pride in his submissive.
Absolutely beautiful words as ever!