2) Describe who you might submit to and how. Are you exclusively submissive in marriage or just in the bedroom? Are you submissive only in the context of a scene or in a role or throughout your daily life? Are you submissive to play partners or only in the context of a relationship?
I’ve never been a bedroom only submissive, in part because I lacked the courage to tell former partners what I really wanted in bed, and also because my submissive desires were nameless, formless thoughts that nagged & prodded in the deepest part of my mind.
For me submission is a whole package kind of deal. I can only submit within the context of a close & loving relationship. To allow myself the level of open communication, and honest sharing of feelings, thoughts & ideals, I have to trust the person I am submitting to. That level of trust requires more than the length of a short term connection, or play scene to build.
Like many subs, and a child of the ’80s to boot, I’ve always been super independent too. Running my own life and demanding equality & respect from family, friends & work colleagues. As much as I always craved domination in my life, my misguided feminist principles would probably have rejected the idea. At least before I discovered the utter freedom of submitting to the right person.
Of course sexual submission is a big element of it, I’m just as keen to get my kink on as the next girl, but it goes beyond that. I want the nurturing, protective Dom who I can gradually give up more & more of myself to as time goes on & we grow together. A 24/7 D/s relationship scares me a little, but mostly because I worry about if I could make a success of it, not because it doesn’t sound wonderful.. because I think that would be my ideal.