During a recent conversation I said something about kneeling that my Dom seemed to like enough to ask me to create an image of it, for him to put on the wall behind his desk. I got to thinking some more about it this morning & decided to write about my feelings on the subject.
Here’s the quote:
” There’s nothing anyone could say to make my kneeling for my Dom feel wrong, stupid, degrading, whatever…. shrugs… their issue”
The topic of kneeling was one we discussed very early on, the first day we met in fact. It’s a pet hate of mine when so many self-proclaimed Doms or Masters demand that any submissive kneel for them, and being the bolshy type at times I don’t hesitate to say so. God knows what he thought of me that first day! Rather amazing that he stuck around to find out more really, but I’m very glad he did.
I told him then, that I would happily kneel for my Dom, just didn’t feel the urge to fall at the feet of just anyone. I don’t know if it was as a result of this conversation, or his own natural inclinations.. I tend to think a combination of the 2 perhaps, that he took the approach he did when it came to me kneeling for him. As with most everything in our relationship he left it up to me. He told me what he liked, we discussed kneeling positions, and what they meant to him. Then he told me, that he wouldn’t tell me when to kneel, or whether to kneel at all. He told me that it was my decision.
This of course immediately sparked my interest. Hmm, here’s a Dom, and make no doubt he is incredibly dominant, who doesn’t need a girl on her knees to feel respected & in charge. His ego doesn’t require that outward show of submission, to confirm to himself, his sub & the rest of the world that’s he’s an alpha, dominant male. How much more attractive that is to me, being a somewhat feisty sub, than the man who doesn’t feel he’s receiving his due unless his girl is on the floor at his feet.
The result of this approach is probably predictable to many people reading this. It didn’t happen right away, I had to chew it over in my head, over-think it from every possible angle as I always do. Until one day, at home, I quietly just knelt at his feet. I felt incredibly shy as I did, self conscious too, but compelled to do it. Not compelled by him, but compelled because I knew it would please him, so it stopped being a choice for me, or became a very simple one at any rate. It wasn’t about me, or how I felt about kneeling, it was a tiny little thing I could do to please my Dom, so I did it.
His response was amazing. He asked me if I had now decided to kneel for him, and was it my own decision. Then he told me how pleased & proud it made him feel, that I would choose to kneel at his feet, that he knew it wasn’t a decision taken lightly by me. What makes it more wonderful for me is that he still now will take a moment now & then to show me his appreciation. Be it a stoke of my hair, holding my head to his leg, or a few affectionate words, all little things that let me know he doesn’t take it for granted, that he appreciates me.
He once told me his feelings on having a sub kneel, and I’m paraphrasing a little now, but it was something like this:
“Throw a sub to the floor, and yes she will stay there for a while, but she will never go to the floor willingly, with love and obedience for her Dom.”
How very true, and it sums up why I love my place, kneeling on the floor, at my Dom’s feet.