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“I will raise you from the ground, and without a sound you’ll appear and surrender yourself to me, to love.”
- Madonna
Credit: Pinterest
…. make me cry these days.
Since my Dom ended things between us earlier this month I’ve shed many tears. Spent endless hours wondering what I did wrong. At times I think perhaps I did nothing wrong, but he simply wasn’t in the right time or place in his life to be with me. Whatever the reason, I wish he’d had the courage to talk to me about it. Even if there was no way to make our relationship work, it would have been nice to have a vote, or even be told directly. That would have been less cruel than the gradual fading away he chose.
But today’s post isn’t about the injustice I feel. It is what it is. I can’t change the outcome, he made the choices for both of us. I’ve actually been doing ok, getting on with my life without him, and not even missing him as desperately as I did. Then I was cleaning the kitchen today & saw the ginger he had me buy back before Christmas. I wrote about it in THIS post. About how Sir had me go buy some ginger, and leave it on view in the kitchen. So that every time I went in there I would see it, and think about it being used… Oh boy did I think! It scared the hell out of me, but there was also a tiny frisson of excitement that would run through me too.
I decided to throw it away today, as it was looking kind of sad. A little shrivelled, with a tiny green sprout growing from one end. It made me cry. Another little piece of ‘us’ slipping away from me. Another tiny symbol of our relationship.
Thrown in the dustbin.
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It’s a need.
Credit: Goodreads
Here’s another taster from the depths of my Kindle….
I loved this series by Lorelei James. Though only this one was strictly D/s related. they all had hot, alpha males as the leading men – yummy! Perfect escapist reading, with some very hot sex thrown in. What more could a girl want when she needs to get away from it all?
” “I cant… I never…God. That was… I have to… “ Then his sub raced down the hallway like the hounds of hell nipped at her heels”
From Cowboy Casanova, by Lorelei James.
Teaser Tuesdays is a weekly bookish meme, hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. Anyone can play along! Just do the following:
• Grab your current read
• Open to a random page
• Share two (2) “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
• BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)
• Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teasers!
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I came across a post in a reading group I belong to recently. It was advice that the author would like to have given to her 18 year old self when starting out in the world of BDSM. I contacted her for permission to reproduce it here & she very kindly tidied it up some, and posted it to her own blog, and gave me permission to share it here.
You can check out her great blog at http://lacrimsonfemme.blogspot.co.uk/. She posts lots of book reviews, so if you’re after some kinky reading material check out what she has been reading. There is also a terrific education section too, packed with things she has learned over the years. So many thanks to La Crimson Femme for allowing me to share What I’d tell my younger self with you all. I hope you find it as useful as I did.
1. There is no shame in using a safeword. (I have a very difficult time using it, even to this day.)
2. BDSM doesn’t have to equate to pain for pleasure.
3. Talk to the Dom/me and try to get someone who is more experienced to help guide you.
4. The first scene should be in a controlled environment where there are experienced people around.
5. Meet and observe others in an interaction. This will give you an idea of what to ask. (I had no idea what to ask when I first was looking around. Clueless and before the internet = bumbling around.)
6. It is okay to ask questions. There is a way to ask questions – be polite and respectful. If you are not sure how to ask a question, use the guideline – asking a question to the Queen of England.
7. BDSM does not equate to sex and scening with a Dom/me does not mean you have to sleep with them afterwards.
8. A sub, one doesn’t know how much pain one can tolerate. I’ve been told most of my young life I have a high tolerance to pain. When compared to BDSM masochist, I’ve learned I’m a wimp. When playing with a Dom/me for the first time, have the Dom/me test a few strokes (whatever the impact play is) on themselves. Have them rate the pain intensity on a scale of 1 to 10. Then have them use the same stroke on you and you tell them what your rating is on a scale of 1 to 10. This will help give the Dom/me an idea of how hard they can strike you.
9. For the beginning experience, it is key for the newbie to have a GOOD experience. This is so they will want a repeat. I advise to err on the side of caution. Go a bit lighter. Build up at a slow easy pace. There is no prize for finishing fast.
10. Go to munches. I can not emphasize this enough. Most big cities will have multiple ones. Find the right one for you. If you don’t feel comfortable, then try another one.
11. Repeated BDSM scenes with the same person will likely generate emotional feelings of attachment to that person. Make sure both parties are free of other attachments or at least on the same page for open relationship.
12. There is no reason to tell a person you just met everything about yourself. I’m not saying to be closed off and not trusting, I’m recommending a balance between divulging everything and saying nothing.
13. Meeting a Dom/me for the first time should not be in a private location. My recommendation is a public place where people can discuss without being overheard.
14. If you are going alone to a party, especially a private party, I’d recommend a friend to know about where you are going and a time to expect a call to let them know all is well.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=XLgYAHHkPFs
Imagine a world where all your dreams, thoughts, diverse ideals and hearts desires were embraced and sought. A world where when someone just says good morning, it embraces you with a love and understanding that fills you with all that you need.
Imagine a world that brings you someone that flavors and touches the air you breathe, and brings beauty and wealth to all you see in the visions before you throughout your day.
How beautiful Joseph! I can imagine all of these things, and they make me smile. Thank you for another wonderful post.
